This post is about 15 outdated wedding traditions that you definitely don’t need to do.

Weddings are full of tradition which can be beautiful but sometimes we carry on outdated wedding traditions even though we don’t want to.

Ultimately, your wedding day is yours. You get to design how the day goes whether that means breaking tradition or not!

Here are 14 outdated wedding traditions that you don’t need to do, along with alternate ideas. 

1. Garter Toss Can Feel Outdated

The garter toss is a wedding tradition where the groom removes the brides garter in front of the guests. He then tosses it into the crowd of eligible bachelors. Whichever man catches the garter will receive good luck.

It’s essentially the male equivalent to the bouquet toss.

However, for some, this tradition may feel embarrassing or even invasive with everyone watching the groom remove the garter from the brides upper thighs. 

An alternative could be to do a co-ed bouquet toss. Or to use a spare garter not worn by the bride to throw to the crowd. Or you could skip it altogether!

2. Bouquet toss: Another tradition to skip?

The well-known bouquet toss is where the bride turns her back to the crowd of single women and throws her bouquet towards them. Whoever catches the bouquet receives the title of ‘the next one to get married’. 

It’s performed more frequently than the garter toss. Some may find it to be slightly degrading having woman fight for the title of ‘next to get married’. 

Others enjoy the light-hearted fun of this tradition however don’t want to toss their wedding bouquet as they often go into the $100s! Many women these days like to preserve their wedding bouquet through drying it. Or just to display in a vase for the next few days.

Alternatives could include the co-ed option, using a spare smaller bouquet or boutonniere, or skipping it altogether. 

3. Boutonnieres: They’re not a must

Boutonnieres are the small group of flowers that the groom or groomsmen wear in their chest pocket. It’s a romantic tradition dating back to the Middle Ages.

The overall meaning is that the bride is sharing a part of her heart with the groom by giving him some flowers from her bouquet.

In modern days, the boutonniere is made separately however the meaning continues on. Many like to carry on this tradition as it’s a way to tie in the colour scheme or flower design between the bride and groom’s sides.

It’s also a way to turn the grooms outfit from an ordinary suit to a wedding outfit. 

However it’s not always the aesthetic that couples are going for and it’s common for groups to skip this one. For others, it can be an extra added cost that they are willing to forgo. 

4. Outdated Wedding Traditions: The Bride’s Family Paying For It All

In many cultures, traditionally, the brides family/parents pay for the entire wedding. It is thought that this tradition is a derivative of the brides family paying a dowry to the grooms family.

Funnily enough, this tradition actually used to be reversed where the groom’s family paid the bride’s family a dowry in exchange for receiving the bride.

The groom’s family paid the bride’s family for the loss of the labour and reproductive power the family had. Old-fashioned, we know!

Understandably, many family’s no longer follow this rule. Especially, nowadays with rising costs, it’s very common for both sides to equally pay for the wedding. Oftentimes, it’s no longer the parents taking on the full cost of the wedding but only chipping in to help. 

5. Father Walking Bride down the aisle

This tradition comes from the times when women were property owned by men. The father of the bride would walk the bride down the aisle and transfer ownership to the groom’s family.

While today many may overlook the meaning behind the tradition, and instead see it as a heartfelt way to include the bride’s father into the ceremony. It’s understandable though why you’d want to skip this one.

Alternatives include walking down the aisle with both parents on either arm, or simply walking down the aisle solo. The most dramatic aisle walks that we’ve seen at wedding have been where the bride walks down alone – it’s powerful!

6. Rule to pass? Wearing a white dress

The meaning behind a bride wearing a white dress on her wedding day stems from the idea that it represents her purity and innocence. Another old-fashioned idea, dating back to when women were married off much younger as well. 

The idea of wearing a white dress is so instilled in us that it can be tough to forgo this tradition even if you dislike the original meaning behind it.

That’s understandable! Especially when there are so many beautiful white options to choose from. 

If you choose to skip this tradition, the world is your oyster in terms of choices! You could pick any colour of the rainbow.

Of course, if you want to only slightly veer from white, there are plenty of bride-like options like champagne, cream, and ombre shades. 

Remember that you can think outside the box and not even wear a dress on your special day – we’ve seen plenty of women choose two-piece options. Here are 25 Non-Traditional Ideas.

7. Marrying in a church – there are alternatives

While many wedding traditions and rituals have religious roots, some marriage traditions are cultural and even pre-date religion. So while it may feel like you have to get married in a church, there are other options.

Many couples choose not to get married in a religious building due to conflicting religious beliefs or no religious beliefs.

Others may choose to marry elsewhere simply out of artistic vision – there are so many beautiful wedding locations and choosing a place of religion can be limiting. 

8. Using an officiant or religious leader

Many couples opt to have an officiant or a religious leader like a priest do their wedding. However, this is absolutely not a must. It’s becoming more common to use a close family member or friend to officiate your wedding especially if it’s a symbolic ceremony. 

Another advantage to going this route is that it’s one less expense to think about, and you can have more control over the script.

Couples often find it more intimate and authentic to have the ceremony led by someone who truly knows you.

9. Invite people who asked you to their wedding

It’s common to feel that pressure to return the invite to someone who asked you to their wedding. It can feel rude or confrontational to not invite them. However, it is your day and you have full reign over who you invite.

It may be that you don’t actually feel that close to that person or that you’re having a smaller wedding/budget than them.

Either way, don’t feel like it is obligatory to return every invite. 

10. Maid of Honour Planning Your Bachelorette Party

Traditionally, your bridesmaids or maid of honour will plan your bachelorette party/trip. However, this is one of those outdated wedding traditions that you can easily override!

For the A-types, it can also feel really difficult to give up all control over something that you may already have a clear vision on.

If you’re worried about insulting your bridesmaids by taking away that role, you can always assign them a certain element of the trip to plan like decorations or one evening given a theme decided by you.

11. Outdated Wedding Traditions for some? The Traditional first dance

While the tradition behind the first dance between the bride and groom signifies their unity and love, for many, the idea of slowly dancing around the dance floor in front of potentially 100s of people can feel daunting.

If not daunting, it can simply feel inauthentic if the couple doesn’t enjoy dancing or prefers other styles.

Your day, your choice. You can skip this tradition altogether and get everyone onto the dance-floor. Or choose a different dance style that feels more aligned.

12. Honeymoon straight after the wedding

Traditionally, the wedding couple head for their honeymoon right after the wedding celebrations.

It’s meant to be a time for the newly-wed couple to unwind and rediscover their connection in a relaxed setting. However, this is not a must.

Many couples opt to skip the honeymoon entirely as the wedding itself can feel like a holiday. Others choose to delay so they have more time to save up for an enjoyable honeymoon after the hefty expense of a wedding.

Remember that a honeymoon doesn’t have to mean lazing at the beach together. You get to choose what your honeymoon looks like. It might be backpacking across South America or a short weekend trip to London. 

13. Having Bridesmaids

The history behind bridesmaids isn’t too well-known. In many cultures throughout history, the brides presented a dowry of money, jewels and other riches to the groom.

This made the bride a target to robbers so the bridesmaids served a “decoy”. That way, potential thieves didn’t know who was the bride. Sounds like more outdated wedding traditions!

Nowadays though, the idea of having bridesmaids can be exciting and means spending quality time with your closest friends during such an important part of your life. Oftentimes the bridesmaids take on certain roles like:

• Planning the bachelorette party.
• Organising the bridal shower.
• Ensuring the bride is hydrated throughout the wedding day. 
• Keeping positive vibes going all day.
• Fluffing the bride’s dress for photos.

But having bridesmaids is not a must. Many brides find it difficult to narrow down their friends into a few bridesmaids. Others might have the opposite problem of feeling like they don’t have enough close friends to call bridesmaids. 

Even if you do have bridesmaids, remember that you can decide on what their roles are. We are now seeing, for example, many brides choosing to not have the brides stand throughout the ceremony but sit in the front row instead.

14. Wearing a wedding ring Can Feel Old-Fashioned

Both bride and groom wearing a wedding ring can serve as a symbol of devotion. However we’re seeing many couples lately choosing to half-skip this tradition.

The groom often chooses to wear a ring, and the bride may choose to forgo it because she already has her engagement ring and doesn’t want to wear a second ring.

Sometimes the couple choose an alternate choice of jewellery because neither enjoys wearing rings. 

Clearly, weddings are packed with traditional or religious elements with many of them feeling outdated. Choosing to offload some or all of them is completely up to you. As mentioned, it’s your wedding, your choice!

If you’re looking to ditch the outdated wedding traditions in favour for something a little more untraditional at your wedding – think about hiring a wedding content creator. We’re the newest vendor on the block.

Our job is to take 1,000s of unedited iPhone videos and photos during your event. We capture everything from BTS and candid moments, to more planned and posed. You will receive the content within 24 hours of your day so you’ll be able to relive the day the very next morning. Get in touch for more information. 

This post was about 14 outdated wedding traditions that a modern bride doesn’t need to do.